10 years ago which was 2003, when I just graduated from school, my mother suggested me to buy an apartment for my future use. At that period, HK suffered SARS and the property price was very low. However, I didn't trust her because I though I didn't need an apartment with any reason. I though I would live with my parents in the same apartment forever. However, time proves I am wrong. Now I am getting old, I am looking for private space. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to buy/ rent an apartment with current property price/ rental price.
2) Decision making process
At that time, I didn't trust my mother because I thought she didn't know my interest. My happiness came from entertainments with friends - Travel to various countries during long holiday, having time with friends in weekends, went shopping, watched movies and so on. However, she though my money should be spent on buying an apartment instead of entertainment. When I was young, I though entertainment is most important.
Also I thought my mother was just a housewife. Her credibility is low. Her advice was not expertise. There was tiny value for my reference.
The most important factor I didn't trust my mother because I thought my personal economic situation was good enough to pay the first installment of an apartment, to buy new furniture, to do renovation. Even I could paid above things, I had a serious concern on my salary allocation on monthly mortgage, family expense and my entertainment.
The risk I might take was that if I spent all of my money on purchase the apartment, I thought I would lose the value of my life, lose my friends. Every weekend, I might only stay at home without hanging out with friends. Everyday, I needed to work hard like a working robot to earn the salary for settlement of installment. This situation may last over 20 years that I didn't look for.
For my personality, I am the person of high security. I need to ensure everything is under control. If anything I feel out of track or slightly not under my control, I will feel nervous and take action to let those things under my control. With this personality, this will make me choose not to take risk for some times instead. Or I will take a very long time to make a decision, which also implies I am the one with low risk-taking.
Because of above personal factor and low credibility of my mother, I stopped the consideration of purchase a new apartment and also stopped the conversation with her on this topic.
3) What I had learned and How I had changed my behaviors
After below analysis, I have learned communication and alignment of interests play a critical role to build trust in turn boost to meet the goal.
When I was young 10 years ago, I put entertainment on top position. However, my mother put apartment on top position instead. The inconsistent of interest would avoid us to build trust with each other because it is thought that we didn't understand each other. Therefore, first step to resolve this problem is to align the interest. If I could realize that apartment will become very important to me in future, I would more likely to accept my mother's advice.
By achieving this, high level of communication is needed. I believe that communication can help understand each other. Open discussion can give an opportunity of each other to find out alternative in turn kick away or jump over the obstacles we are facing. This is the power of synergy effect (Citation 1). It is expected that a team of two individuals will outperform than 2 individuals.
gate how to improve one of my biggest concern as described above. If not improve this, most probably I will go to the direction of distrust in order take thing not happen which is not a satisfied outcome. After 10 years, when my mother talked to me about this topic, she reflected that she never knew this concern of mine. If yes, she will support me on this. Therefore, we can see that communication is very important to solve the problem.
For my personality, I also need to improve myself to become more willingness express myself an more proactive to look for alternative. For instance, 10 years ago, I should have challenged my mother why I need to buy an apartment. Perhaps my mother would explain for me why I needed it in turn I changed my mind and made a better decision. Taking initiative in improve current circumstances or creating new ones; it involves challenging the status quo rather than passively adapting to present conditions. This is positive to find solution to tackle the challenge instead of escape from the challenge. (Citation 2)
Citation 1:
Syergy Effect:
David Buchanan & Andrzej Huczynski: Organizational behavior, introductory text. Prentice Hall,pp 283,Third Edition 1997 ISBN 0-13-207259-9
David Buchanan & Andrzej Huczynski: Organizational behavior, introductory text. Prentice Hall,pp 283,Third Edition 1997 ISBN 0-13-207259-9
Citation 2:
Proactive personality:
Seibert, S.E., Crant, M., & Kraimer, M.L. (1999). Proactive personality and career success. Journal of Applied Psychology, 84: 416-427
